April 1, 2014: A group of revisionist scholars claim that there never was slavery in North America and that the story of slavery was a creation of British propaganda. The scholars wish to remain anonymous because they claim otherwise they will be labelled “anti-slaverites,” or “black supremacists” and lose their jobs, or even worse, be sold to Middle-Eastern brothels.
The United States of America was founded in 1776 by a group of African immigrants led by the African general George Washington, they claim. When the Africans lost to the British in the war of 1812, their history was “white-washed,” and paintings of General Washington were done over to make him appear European, they said, citing anonymous internet documents as proof.
The British, terrified that the “flower of Victorian womanhood would be ravished by virile African men,” then transported all Africans in Canada to the ghetto of Africaville in the East Coast province of Nova Scotia, one of the scholars claimed. According to this version, to hide their crime, they invented the story that they were “escaped slaves” from the United States who were smuggled there through an “underground railroad.”
The story of slavery in America was embellished over the years by the British propagandists because they wanted to avoid later land claims by the original African settlers to much of what is now New England, including the state of New York, the revisionists claim.
Mainstream establishment experts summarily dismissed the scholars’ claims as “utter nonsense,” and “conspiracy theory.” They said there was ample documentary proof that slavery really did happen in America.
The revisionists claim the “so-called proof” was “manufactured in Hollywood,” and concluded their argument with the by citing the pseudo-Latin phrase: “yppah liprA sloof yad.”